Henry Miller once said: ‘There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature.’ How beautiful. In the end, isn’t this exact thing a woman wants more than anything else? To be loved, truly and utterly loved.

But why can’t men just understand this simple truth? Why is depression amongst women more common than the flu? Why has domestic violence in all its hideous forms become the most frequent reason a woman suffers from in relationships?

All we need is, indeed, love. Love, love and more love. Not love that abuses, rejects, humiliates, hurts and reduces us to helpless, silent screams. We don’t need love that suppresses, ignores, bullies, underestimates and makes us cry. This kind of ‘love’ we say no to. We SHOULD say no to. And we should help the ones that can’t on their own, say no too. Are we perfect? Hell, no.

We are far from perfect and that is a good thing. We are many things but perfect is not one of them.


We can look strong most of the times but inside we can be weak. We won’t show it easily; when a woman shows how weak she might be, it’s only when she has exceeded every single fragment of her patience.

We are talented. Every single woman is good at something. Even the ones who believe they are not good at anything. Those are even more talented than the others. We have learned to take important daily values for granted and to associate talent with only the ones who have an ‘important’ profession. Having the mental frame to raise other human beings every single day for years is a priceless skill. To have the strength to offer comfort and support to those in need while you are yourself are suffering is such a unique ability. Cooking prowess, smiling through pain, struggling to succeed  in a male dominated world, being able to love even after you have been mistreated… are all amazing capabilities and talents we possess.

We are always in love! We are in love with our men or women, our children, friends, nature, beauty, flowers, relatives and life! We can see such beauty in everything around us are capable of falling in love for everything!

We can be difficult, two-faced, we can indulge in too much gossip and spend a whole day reading Vogue magazine. We said it already – not perfect.

Small things make us happy. A cup of coffee and a chat with a friend can refresh our day and recharge our batteries. We love a good dinner, a warm hug, a nice compliment. A nice movie with family and a glass of wine, honesty and a smile from our children fills our heart with happiness.

We accept men’s nature. Most of the time. By nature we compromise more, we accept more and we try to accommodate for our partners needs. Even the strongest and most independent women follow the same pattern more or less. And that is not bad. It’s part of our nature! What is not acceptable is allowing those we love to take advantage of that nature.


We struggle daily to complete many tasks. We try to keep our friendships going, we run around all day cleaning the house and cooking for the whole family. We struggle to become worthy business partners, successful career women, hard working employees. We come up with ways to enhance our sex life and make it more interesting for the both of us, support our partners through business decisions, encourage them through difficult times, still care when we don’t feel cared for.

We don’t like to feel lonely. Women who insist that they like their state of loneliness because it gives them freedom are just the ones who have had to live alone for too long. No woman prefers to be alone or feel lonely. Friends, family, loves ones are a must in our lives.

Ladies, I’ll let you in on a secret: You are all psychologists! That’s right! Every single one of you has the power to listen, evaluate, offer help and advice, come up with solutions, answers and motivate a person to make the changes in life that will be right for them. You have the power to be someone’s rock, someones shoulder to cry on, a valuable friend, a priceless companion, an amazing mother and an absolutely fabulous woman.

All we really want is respect, understanding, honesty and lots of love. And maybe a kiss or two, and a few compliments.

Share this article with the men in your life and all the people you think should understand and value  the above facts about us.

[quote_box_center]On the day when it will be possible for a woman to love not in her weakness but in strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert – on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of lif. – Simone de Beauvoir[/quote_box_center]

Psychologist, world citizen, mother - Effie is one half of the alwaysladies.com founding pair. She can bring to life any party with either a smile, or a strong opinion. If like us you can't get enough of Effie, visit her blog at www.thethinkingmomblog.com

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