[dropcap type=”1″]A[/dropcap]s part of the monthly life tips for a better way of living and psychological well being, I will be sharing with you advice which is easy to follow and general strategies on sorting out those dark areas in your life that are bothering you.
Who Am I?
But lets start with the basics; getting to know ourselves. Life is moving in fast pace and we just mostly go along with it, rarely paying attention to how and why we behave the way we do and whether that can be changed or not or in fact if our behavior and actions affect others in a negative way.
We usually hear people saying: ‘but that’s the way I am, I can’t change it’, or ‘just accept me the way I am’. That is all good, if we do know who we are and we truly comprehend our hidden nature. In order to fully get to know ourselves, first we need to get to know our past.
Have you ever wondered why psychologists mostly concentrate on our past events and childhood? – and for the ones who haven’t had a first hand experience in a therapist’s office, you have all watched the Sopranos, right?
Well, our past is a very important guide to our present and future and a strong indicator of what will follow later on in our lives. It might seem a bit weird and mind-boggling to some, but the truth is that most of our life choices and behaviors do stem from our past and all our personal experiences we have lived through childhood. But we can’t change our childhood and we certainly haven’t invented time travel yet, so what do we do?
[quote_box_center]There is something we can do about reversing and fixing some of the aspects that have affected our present in a not so pleasant way. It might sound simple and painless to some, but it does require a bit of effort on our part. We will write a short book, about ourselves and we will call it : ‘My life story’.[/quote_box_center]
My Life Story
I want you to try and look back at your life and try to remember all the important events that happened to you, either good or bad, and write them down. You might want to put them in groups so it’s easier and more clear to evaluate later. Name these groups: Childhood, Adolescence, Young Adulthood, Married or Adult Life and Later Life.
Now, lets create a timeline as shown in the image here and let’s put all positive events and experiences on top of that line and all the negative events and experiences under that line. Try to be as honest as possible without having to worry about what you write and how you write it. You can also add associated feelings and emotions next to those events
Now, you have a more rounded view of our life events and experiences that have shaped who you are today. However, we would like to expand that a little. Let’s just pretend we are all writers and the subject we wanted to write about was our own lives. What would you do? How could you possibly include every single event in your life over so many years? And more importantly how can you remember everything?
Narrating my history
There is an easy way to put your thoughts in order and gather all the significant details you would like to include in your book. Before you start writing, create 5 categories under which you will separate each part of your life; “Relationships”, “Professional History”, “Family”, “Spirituality”. Just take a piece of paper and start writing your life story without worrying about grammar, style or vocabulary. As you write, try to concentrate on the following elements:
- Your earliest childhood experiences
- How did it feel growing up?
- Which parent were you closest to?
- How was your childhood home?
- What was your relationship with the opposite sex?
- Most important school experiences
- Your first big achievement. How did that feel like?
- Your first big failure
- How did you chose your career/profession
- How did you meet and choose your partner
- Significant spiritual experiences
- Positive and negative relationship experiences
Don’t feel ashamed or afraid to narrate your life story exactly the way you experienced it. Remember that events that you try to hide from the others have importance in your life so don’t forget to include them in your narrative. Write down all the feelings and thoughts associated with every life event or past experience and form a chronology that describes what happened, why it happened and how you felt about it. There are no right or wrong life stories so don’t worry that you won’t get it right.
If you feel that a past event has changed your life in any way, remember to write this down and explain why and how. If you feel guilty about a decision you have made or about things that you should have done and didn’t and vice versa, note them down clearly in your narrative and describe your motive and reactions. Try to recall all the things that you were ashamed of, the lies you have told, any hurt that you might have caused, feelings of abuse or victimization, these are all crucially important in order to create your full life story.
[quote_box_center]When you are done pat yourself in the back, sit down and read through it. I promise you , that you will relive some of the most formative times of your life and you will go through an amazing journey of self discovery. [/quote_box_center]
This is just the first step. Till next time.