We asked some of the happiest couples to share their secrets and habits to relationship bliss. If your marriage is a work in progress then the following tried and tested tips you will find useful and you can start implementing them asap!!

Pursue common interests. It is common for couples to end up having different hobbies and activities after the initial passion settles down. Saying that, it is also healthy for a couple to follow their own interests that are separate from each others and give you some sense of independence. However, don’t underestimate the importance of mutually enjoyable activities you can both do together that, apart from ensuring you have some fun with each other, they also offer a strong ground for much needed bonding.

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Don’t ever go to bed angry with each other. It might sound like a familiar cliché but happy couples know the significance of this statement all too well. Rows and trivial arguments are part of any relationship but a lot of effort is required, to make up with your partner and not do one of your usual dramatic exits to the bedroom. Make sure you talk your issues through before bedtime and find a common ground for forgiveness. The alternative will turn into a little thorn that will damage the quality of your relationship. Your ability to go to bed happy with each other does say a lot about the way you both feel.

Focus on the ‘good’ things your partner does rather than the ‘bad’. It all comes down to what you really want out of your relationship. I am sure you will, (mostly), equally find both good and bad things about your partner if you start looking. But are you sure that this is what you really want to be doing with your time? Happy couples emphasize the positive !

Make trust and forgiveness your second nature. “If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.” (Source: Psychology Today)

Kiss and hug your partner ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’. There is nothing better than a kiss! People, as a rule, associate a loving touch and an intimate kiss with all the good feelings in life and no touch with emotions of neglect. Happy couples make sure they touch and hug each other daily and this way keeping the passion alive.

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Go to bed at the same time. There used to be a time, long ago, when you simply couldn’t wait to go to bed together and cuddle or make love. Surely, you remember that. Now, life has become fast paced and you both have so many things to do at night, including putting the children to bed, etc. Resist the temptation to go to bed at different times, and sleep together. Even if that means that you will get up later after your partner is asleep to finish up  Cuddling in bed, kissing, having sex or just being close to each other till you sleep will definitely flare up that lost passion and will improve things in between you.

Be proud of your partner. Happy couples are always pleased to be seen together and they don’t miss out on opportunities for a quick kiss, cuddle or touch. Walk next to each other and try holding hands, just like you used to. Remember: you are on his side and he is on yours!

Say ‘I love you’! Is there a better way to show your partner that you still have feelings for him/her? Happy couples make it their priority to ensure that their other half knows that they still care and love them. Three small words – such a huge difference in your partner’s day!

You might have noticed that all the above are such small things that we all used to carelessly do at a daily pace and yet have ended up being a distant memory. They are all habits of happy couples and they could become yours again with a small amount of effort to maintain them.
It takes just 21 days of daily repetition for a behavior to become a habit so choose one , two or all of the ‘good’ relationship habits on the list,  systematically follow it for 21 days and make it a healthy habit aimed at bettering and improving things between you and your partner!

 

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Psychologist, world citizen, mother - Effie is one half of the alwaysladies.com founding pair. She can bring to life any party with either a smile, or a strong opinion. If like us you can't get enough of Effie, visit her blog at www.thethinkingmomblog.com

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